3 Months

It's been just over 3 months since we received our referral for our sweet baby boy. Unfortunately, our travel to bring him home is still months away. Due to delays on both the US and Vietnam sides, we won't be able to bring him home before the end of the year. We had hoped to have him home before his first birthday in January. It now looks more likely that we will not travel until at least March. There is still a chance it could happen sooner, but it is a long shot.

We are trying to stay positive. It is still very hard knowing our baby boy is growing older everyday without us. We long to hold him in our arms and pray that our delays will be resolved soon. This has been one of the hardest parts of our wait.

I hope to have better news to share soon... A

Operation Organization

Lately, I have been dealing with our wait with a combo of nesting and shopping. I have been working on the baby's closet this week. As you can see from the picture, I've spent plenty of time shopping... or Gymboree exploded in the closet.

I have been going through everything and sorting by size. The dresser is already full. I have been storing the larger sizes in plastic tubs. I still have more tubs to squeeze in there. I hope he doesn't outgrow all the sweet outfits before we get him home! E, do I earn points for stockpiling baby clothes?

In adoption news, we are currently waiting on DNA testing. This involves waiting for the province to locate our baby's birth mother. Once located, they will coordinate a date/time and travel to HCMC for the test. Hopefully, she has not moved and they can find her easily. I'm not sure when we can expect an update on the progress of that effort. This part of the wait is much harder. There is a lot of uncertainty on how long our next steps will take. The DNA process is still new, and the delays continue in our baby's province. There has been some movement to get cases progressing though. We are optimistic that every one's efforts will be rewarded, and families will get to travel there soon.

You may ask, what the heck is taking so long. Well, once the DNA testing is complete and possitve, we should get out I-600 pre-approval fairly quickly. This is the last major US hoop to jump through. In addition, we still need a few things on the Vietnam side. None of them can happen until the province delays are resolved. We are waiting for IAD Approval, PPC Approval, and scheduling of the G & R ceremony. Then, as soon as we can get on a plane, we will travel to Vietnam for the meeting of a lifetime!

In exciting news, families with our agency are leaving this week for Vietnam. Another group will be joining them later in the month. I can't wait to follow along with their life changing trips! It's the next best thing to traveling yourself ; ) A

Dear sweet boy...

Today I learned of you. I know where you are and about when you were born. The rest is still a mystery. So, I wonder...
Are you smiling?
Is someone holding you?
Does someone comfort you when you cry?
Can you feel Gods hands reaching down to you as I pray for your protection?

Today, I feel one step closer to you. I wait for the day I will see your face and hold you in my arms.

Until now, I have had a dream of you … Today there is a promise of you… and that will have to be enough for now.

I love you sweet, sweet boy.

A Child's Right Campaign for Vietnam

The Joint Council on International Children's Services has announced A Child's Right Campaign for Vietnam. The purpose of the campaign is to urge he US to work with Vietnam to continue ethical adoptions for children who need families. An end to adoptions from Vietnam is not the answer. The true orphans of Vietnam deserve the love of a family.

A Pending Crisis

The U.S. Department of State has expressed concerns related to corruptive practices associated with intercountry adoption between the U.S. and Vietnam.
In response to their concerns, the Department of State will allow the functional closure of adoptions on September 1, 2008 and thereby end one of the most basic of human rights: the right to a safe, permanent and loving family.

Not only will those orphans eligible for adoption continue to suffer the detriments of orphanage life, so will thousands of other orphans and vulnerable children. This is because the service providers engaged in finding U.S. families for Vietnamese orphans also provide a myriad of services to the most vulnerable of children.

As a result, the end of intercountry adoption with Vietnam also brings the end of social services such as family preservation and counseling. It also marks the end of humanitarian services such as educational sponsorships, clean water programs and many health related initiatives.

End Corruption, Not a Child’s Right to a Family

While Joint Council shares in many of the Department of State’s concerns, we believe the solution is not the termination of adoption and elimination of a child’s right to a family. Joint Council, its Member Organizations, NGO’s including Ethica—a leading voice for ethical adoption, the Vietnamese government and Members of the United States Congress firmly believe that the solution is a rational child-centered approach designed to strengthen services, regulate providers and prosecute violators.

Please, email JCICS at advocate@jcics.org BEFORE May 30. Let them know you support A Child's Right Campaign for Vietnam. Your email will be included in a petition to congress. Let congress know you support the true orphans of Vietnam, and that improving the current system is the right thing to do.

Thank you for your support. A.

Precious Gift

Today I got a special surprise in the mail. I received the most thoughtful Mother's Day gift from a dear friend from out of town. She sent me a wonderful book called
Motherbridge of Love from Barefoot Books. It is the sweetest book and a most thoughtful gift. The book is an illustrated poem about the role Mothers and Birth Mothers play in who an adopted child is. Of course, I cried when I read it. It was so heartwarming. I'm already looking forward to sharing the book with our son. Click here to listen to Amy Tan read the poem.

These last few weeks have been emotional. With even more uncertainties in Vietnam adoptions and the approaching Mother's Day holiday... It's been hard to keep my spirits up. There couldn't have been a better time to receive such a special surprise. It just takes a little nudge once and a while to boost my confidence that this adoption WILL happen, and our baby boy will be home with us in time. We are still in a race to make the September 1 deadline for referrals. We hope to be matched with our baby boy at any time now.

Also in adoption news, it is feared that Vietnam adoptions may close to all of the US due to a small number of "unethical players". Two groups are working for support from lawmakers to help Vietnam adoptions. Ethica has posted information on their website explaining how you can help. They have a sample letter as well as links to websites for your state representatives. Please consider faxing, calling, or emailing them in support of ethical adoptions from Vietnam. Please, show your support for helping legitimate adoptions to continue. JCICS will be launching a similar campaign soon. I will pass on that information as I know more. Here is the response I got from Senator Richard Lugar:

Thank you for contacting me about adoptions from Vietnam.

You are not alone in expressing concerns about the pace of adoptions in Vietnam. In response to many letters from Hoosiers, my staff has contacted officials at the Department of Homeland Security to raise your concerns. Currently there is only one full-time Department of Homeland Security official in Ho Chi Minh City who is assisted by two local staff. However, subsequent to our inquiry, an additional Department of Homeland Security officer has been assigned to assist in the backlog of adjudications. My office has been in regular contact with officials from the Departments of State and Homeland Security to reinforce to them the need to expedite adoptions in Vietnam. I will continue to closely monitor the situation.

As a member of the Congressional Coalition on Adoption, I share your concern that the United States remains a strong advocate for fair, transparent, and compassionate adoption policies worldwide.

Thank you, again, for contacting me.

Sincerely,

Richard G. Lugar
United States Senator
RGL/cga

Please consider passing on this information to your friends and families. Let your voices be heard. It would be a shame for needy children to miss out on having a loving family because the two countries gave up on negotiations too soon.
Thanks for your support! Thanks "Angela Phillpot" for the wonderful gift! A.

Nursery

We are so excited to be working on the nursery. D's parents got us the prettiest baby crib. It is one that will change to a toddler bed and then to a full size. Later we will get the matching dresser. It arrived yesterday and we couldn't wait to put it together. Isn't it sweet!

I'm so excited to get the rest of the room finished. My sister is already planning the murals for the walls. I will be sure to share pictures of our progress. I really need to work on getting the clothes under control! I LOVE shopping for our little man!

So far, 2008 has been a great year for our adoption. There have been 4 boy referrals so far this month. We are steadily climbing the list! There is a chance we could have our referral in 4 - 5 months. Of course, with adoption, anything can happen. Congratulations to all my fellow FTIA waiting families who have referrals. It has been such a blessing to be able to share you joy. Looking at the pictures and hearing other family's good news... makes the wait easier to take. Thanks so much for sharing. I will continue to pray that your travel comes quickly!
That's all for now, A.

December, already?

Christmas is quickly approaching. Back when we first started the adoption process, I never thought we would still be childless this Christmas. It's been hard, but we're hanging in there. The good news is that other families with our agency have referrals coming over the next few months. I'm so excited for them. I'm also eager to follow their travel journals. It is amazing how comforting that is while you are waiting.

It's probably difficult for people who have never adopted to understand how hard the wait is. For one thing, with a pregnancy, you know all along exactly where your baby is. Your doctor never tells you it could be 12 - 18 months before you see your baby. And, you don't usually have to worry about filling out some new form before Homeland Security will let your baby out. I shouldn't be silly. I am well aware that there are a whole lot worries in pregnancy and delivery too.

As far as our adoption progress... there's really not much going on. We just passed our 7 month mark since our dossier was turned in. It will likely be late spring or early summer before we hear anything significant. We are praying that things go well and that the US and Vietnam governments re-sign agreements in March. This is necessary for adoptions from Vietnam to continue past the summer. There are a lot of people working very hard to make sure this agreement is renewed. It will be a big relief when it is signed.

In other news, we were able to scratch off another thing on our "Do before the baby comes" list. D and I took in Infant/Child CPR class this week. The list is getting short. One thing still looming on there is the Nursery. I am hoping to have that to work on after the first of the year. We still have no baby furniture. Once we get that part...I can dive in. I know that working on the nursery will be a big comfort and help me feel closer to our child.

I better wrap this up. I have knitting waiting for me. The sweetest little girl turns 1 this week, and I'm working on something special for her. Stay tuned and I will post a picture. A

Ugly Vegetables

There are lots of things I think about while we are waiting to bring our baby home. We have attended lots of Waiting Families seminars at our adoption agency. These seminars are on all kinds or great topics like travel, medical concerns, and culture. Since we have been waiting a while, we have even attended some of these more than once ; )

It has been a concern of mine that the area we live in isn't particularly diverse. I know it will be important for our future children to be around other people who share their Asian heritage. I want them to be proud of where they come from as well as where they grow up. When we first applied to our agency, we also joined a REACH Asia, a support group in our area for families with Asian children. It is a great group of families and I am so grateful to know them. I think it will be important to our children to have friends who look like them and share their racially blended lives. I have bought a few racially diverse books for our children. I was questioned once if I thought I was over doing it, and if this would just draw attention that our child is different. My thoughts are that our child will be different and we need to make sure he knows he is different in a very wonderful way. All people are different in lots of ways, but they are also the same in lots of ways. If you haven't visited Grace Lin's website or read any of her books, please do. She speaks to children about differences in a warm and wonderful way. Her book Ugly Vegetables is a wonderful illustration of differences.

Our last Waiting Families seminar was on culture. To start out each person was given a cup of pony beads in different colors and a piece of string. Each color was assigned a race. We were asked to add one bead that represented us... our babies grandparents... we added beads that represented the different cultures of art in out home... our friends... the babies future playmates... and on and on. Although, our sting was heavily weighted to our race, I was pleasantly surprised to see it was more colorful than many in the group. This was a good lesson about the environment our child will grow up in. I want to especially thank the little peanuts in the REACH Asia group for adding lots of beauty to our string.

While I don't plan on turning my home into a shrine to all things Asian, I am going to continue to make sure our child's culture is represented and respected in our lives. D and I bought 3 beautiful prints by Cedric Hustace last year. I have yet to get them framed. I'm going to work on that. If anyone is looking for Christmas ideas for me, a framing gift certificate would be wonderful: ) A

Appletini and Cupcake...mmmmm

I've been a busy knitter lately... churning out baby hats like no body's business. It really is a good way to keep myself busy during the wait and at the same time, raise funds for the adoption. Pictured is my current favorite. The Cupcake "Icing " is the softest chenille-like fluff. It's just Yummy with a cherry on top. I will post more hat pictures later.

OK, back to the wait. We are still waiting to move up on our agency's list. The referrals are coming any day now... for months. I'm trying to stay optimistic, but it's very hard. I have been stalking the blogs of the families ahead of us... and they have spotted me... more than once. That's OK though. They definitely know where I'm coming from. We still have a pretty long wait ahead of us. Our coordinator said she would let us know if things looked more positive later. For now, we are looking at early summer or so for a referral. So, for now I knit.


I still haven't done much with the nursery. I hope to get moving on that pretty soon. I was in there folding and sorting baby clothes the other night. It's starting to feel more like a baby's room, but it will help a lot when we get a crib in there. I also need to find a great light fixture. I am not loving the light in there now. I think it was about the last one we picked out when we were building the house. The lady said "Here's what we usually use in the bedroom". We said, "we're tired of making decisions... that one will do". It is a glass dome light with a pointy thing in the middle. We "not-so-affectionately" refer to it as "The Nipple Light". I really can't see leaving that in my son's bedroom. (insert your own favorite D. joke here, you know he's come up with some) I've been a little discouraged by the lack of selection I have been able to find online for lighting. If you have any suggestions, let me know. The room will be decorated with Jungle Animals.


Now, you are probably saying to yourself, "What about the Appletini... I heard there would be Appletinis".

Be patient, there is an Appletini... and a Mimosa. I got a package in the mail yesterday from Sonny and Shear I've Got Ewe, Babe Yarn Shop, and of course I love packages. Their logo is two sheep that look like Sonny and Cher. Anyway, it contained two hanks of the softest Yarntini superwash merino sock yarn. The colors, of course, were Appletini and Mimosa. I can't wait to knit myself some snazzy new socks.
I guess that's all for now. A

Vacation

Well, I'm on vacation. I had lots of plans for all I would get done, mainly I've just been relaxing. We've spent some time in the pool, and I have almost finished a sweater for the baby. It's my first attempt at a top down pattern. I enjoyed making it and especially enjoy the lack of seaming that it needs. I'll post a picture when it's done.

D had to get an MRI on Friday. He's been having a lot of knee pain. Today we saw an orthopedic surgeon. He will be having cartilage in his knee repaired Thursday morning. Please, say a little prayer that all goes well. They will be doing the procedure as outpatient and are pretty optimistic for a quick recovery. I've already told him he's grounded from sports!

There have been no real updates on the adoption recently. We are still waiting to hear about some referrals for our agency and hope to finally be move up some on the waiting list. It will be a thrill to just have a new answer when people ask how it's going. I usually just say, "Fine, still waiting". What I really want to sayis something like, "Well, one day I'm excited and hopeful, one day I'm weepy, and the next day I'm anxious and nervous... and other days I'm all of those and more... and of course we're still waiting ; )".

I can't imagine how hard it will be when we are closer to getting our referral. I'm over-the-top excited for these families right now.

Best Wishes, A

Lot's of Adoption Stuff...

It's been a busy week in our adoption world. We had a Waiting Families meeting on Tuesday at our agency. The topic was "Post-Placement Paperwork". Can you believe there is more paperwork? Actually, we will be filling out some kind of adoption related paperwork until our child turns 18. In Vietnam adoptions, the country requires yearly post-placement reports until the child turns 18. I personally think that is wonderful. Mainly we will write a little status report on our child an include some pictures. I think it's great that Vietnam wants to make sure their children are doing well. Receiving these reports in a timely manner is a very important part of keeping good adoption relations with other countries.

Friday, we got an update from our agency that referrals are coming! Not for us yet, of course... but for families in front of us. There are babies that have been identified for adoption. There is a process where the baby's paperwork is put in order. There are 2 adds that have to run in the local paper for 30 days each, documentation, etc. All this paperwork is done to prove that the child is legally eligible for adoption. Our agency is very thorough with this paperwork. They make sure it is all in order before giving a referral. So, as the paperwork is gathered for these babies... referrals will be made. I'm very excited for everyone who will be getting that wonderful news very soon. Of course, we will also move up in line as the referrals come in... so I am excited for us too!

Today I took a trip out of state for another Waiting Families Meeting. Dwayne's parents live a couple of hours away from us. I drive over and we attend our agency's meetings together. They will be traveling with us when we bring our baby home. The topic of the meeting was Therapeutic Parenting. It is a very interesting topic and goes along with all the Attachment and Bonding things I have been reading. I have also been reading "The Power of Possitive Parenting". This talks about similar topics.
It's been a long day and a good week. I think I'm going to work on some more baby booties... and get to bed. A

Baby Stuff...

I love getting stuff in the mail... especially baby stuff. I got the sweetest baby blanket today. I've been searching for just the right one... that's not too girly. For those of you who don't know already, we would like to adopt a boy and a girl. We have requested an infant of either gender so we will probably be adopting a boy first. For some reason families request girls over boys about 4 to 1. Our dream would be to adopt boy/girl twins in our first trip, but that's a million to one shot. We will most likely travel again as soon as we can!

Since we originally planned to adopt from China we were expecting a girl. We have a closet full of girls clothes and other items. The boys room had a slow start, but it is catching up. At first it was not as easy getting excited about little boys clothes. Girly things are so cute. But, I have turned the corner and Gymboree is my new best friend.

Now I've gotten off track... back to the blanket... it's so sweet and soft. On one side is a Blue Asian Silk Brocade. The other side is the softest, fluffiest Minky Rosebud Swirl Chenille. You can't really tell from the picture, but the Chenille actually looks like little rosebuds.

I wish I got a package in the mail everyday ; )

Best wishes, A